Somewhere inbetween limbo and destiny...

I would have never thought that finally getting the very thing I have wanted most would be such an arduous and strange phase in my life. Embarking into full time missions sounds exciting, and it is, but the transition phase is so unsettling and weird. It's like seeing your exit a few miles down the highway, but not being able to reach it fast enough. The goal is finally in sight but I can't seem to get to it when I want. But it is part of the refining process of my character that God is putting me through. If there is one thing God isn't it's a waster. He will use any circumstance or experience (good or bad, expected or unexpected) in your life to teach you something, refine your character, and ultimately draw you closer to Him.

Its just the weirdest feeling though. As my friend Natalya put it, we're not quite living in the real world. We're not working steady 9-5 jobs, holding down the fort at home, or settling down. To the contrary, we are for the most part, jobless, fundraising full time (which is like having a job!) and living our day to day lives with the hope that God will allow us to embark on this next phase of our lives abroad soon. We are learning to let go of home while trying to grasp what our new life will be like. We want some stability and certainty for today, but can't hold on so tight to what we have that it would impede us if we had to leave tomorrow. You can't put down roots where you are, but you're not able to place them yet where you are going. In short, you are somewhere between limbo and destiny.

The process of becoming a missionary is a slow one, at least for me. But I figure God knows best, and His timing has always proven to be the best! I don't expect Him to fail me now...infact I fully know He never will. SO... in the meantime I am trying to get a feel for this "inbetween time" in my life. The great part is I know that a few months down the line I am going to look back at this and say, "Wow, God sure has brought me far. I didn't think it would ever come quick enough, but you brought it Lord. I didn't care for the process but I am glad I went through it. The only reason I made it this far is because of You! Thank you! " LEAD ME ON LORD!